HOW TO SURVIVE CHRISTMAS

Thursday, December 07, 2017

"Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights"

~Christmas Vacation

I google searched how to survive Christmas.  This is the best list I found;
1. Avoid drunken relatives
2. Take an adult time-out
3. Count to 10
4. Don't talk, just eat
5. Have lots of long showers
6. Fake happiness, even if you get awful presents
7. Enjoy the food, even if you don't

I must admit I am a little confused?  I love Christmas and I love spending it with family.  My family are all pretty awesome and all of them love a good gin and tonic so I don't understand why I need to fake happiness and take long showers!  Maybe you hate Christmas and the idea of spending time with family is like nails on a blackboard?  If this is the case, see above list!

The very first Christmas after we moved from the UK to Canada was terrible.  I knew it would be hard.  Homesickness can hit you hard and not all the time just every now and again it sneaks up on you.  Christmas homesickness doesn't creep gently, its like getting hit by a train!  To try and head off the festive tears I planned an amazing Christmas for my little displaced family.  In my head it was like a well pinned Pinterest Board of festive fun and laughter, gift wrapped to perfection. 
The disaster started by registering with a doctors office and being asked to go for blood tests.  We don't do this in the UK, so not knowing how long this would take I popped in just before Christmas.  Who knew that in 24 short hours my results would be back just in time for our doctors office to call me and say my white count was high; "You need to see a doctor and by the way, we are now closed for 3 days, Merry Christmas".  I google searched "white blood count high" (yes, I  know you are judging me right now!)  If you have ever googled a medical condition the usual answer is you're going to die a slow, painful, horrible death.  Just great!  

Christmas morning arrives and there is no snow!  We moved to Canada and one of the terms and conditions, we were led to believe, is that you guys get snow.  Like lots of snow.  Christmas card snow!!  There was not a flake of the stuff anywhere.  So dissapointed.
My youngest child woke up on Christmas morning and rather than be full of festive spirit he spent the entire day throwing up on our brand new cream carpets.  He doesn't open a single gift.  

Boxing Day arrives and I am still thinking I am going to die.  I am now refusing to answer Skype calls because the mere sight of family having fun in the UK causes me to ugly cry.  

Our eldest child now starts to vomit.

I go back to the doctor.  I do another blood test.  Everything is normal.  The doctor tells me there has been a sickness bug going around that may have caused my elevated white count.  

New Year's Day can't come quick enough.  

I learnt valuable lessons that year; don't have cream carpets and children in the same house and "perfect" doesn't really exist.  Fun, amazing, exciting, relaxed, enjoyable and special are what to aim for, those things are all within reach. 
So my little family now spend Christmas in our PJ's.  You can eat chocolate for breakfast and spend all day building Lego.  We do what makes us happy and it's pretty damn fabulous.  

How to make it an awesome Christmas (My Families Guide to Christmas):
1) Throw out the rule book- just do what makes you happy.  Don't do something just because you think you should.  Only keep the traditions you like and make some new ones too.
2) Mars Bar & A Cup of Tea- The best hangover cure I know of!  Maybe a bacon sandwich on white bread too!  
3) Wear Your PJ's- We all get new ones on Christmas Eve and we wear them all day.  
4) Look after yourself- Late nights, extra booze and food glorious food!  Avoid feeling terrible with a little self love.  I have been taking Renew Life Ultimate Flora Critical Care for their 30 Day Challenge.  There really is no better time of year to have the friendly gut bacteria on your side!  I love how easy and simple they are, just one a day and you're on the winning team!  

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5) To Me from Me- My family think I am crazy (maybe they are on to something), but every year, just like my Mum did, there are gifts with labels like "to me from me", "to the family from the family" and my dog always get me an amazing gift each year.  She really is awesome!  Treat yourself too.  You are so worth it.  
6) Eat, drink and be merry- eat what you want, drink to celebrate even the smallest of things and just be merry.  Why not, it's Christmas!  


I was sent the Renew Life Ultimate Flora Critical Care for free to test out for the blog.  I really did take it and I actually use this stuff when they are not sending it me as it really does get the job done!  Photos, food, children and terrible jokes are as always my very own.  Merry Christmas everyone!  

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